Wednesday 17 August. 1.33AM
Carpeted Flaxen Bi-gorn. Fancy that? Oh, what is a carpeted flaxen bi-gorn? Well how am I supposed to know, it’s not like I made it up or anything. Oh I did, oh well in that case, the best way to describe it is like this.
Carpeted Flaxen Bi-gorn. Fancy that? Oh, what is a carpeted flaxen bi-gorn? Well how am I supposed to know, it’s not like I made it up or anything. Oh I did, oh well in that case, the best way to describe it is like this.
Chaaaaaardic!!!,
no I haven't gone insane(r) that’s the sound it makes, no matter what type of emotion it’s trying to convey it always makes the same noise.
Tis a four legged creature with three spindly digits on it’s front legs and six clubby digits on the hind ones, some would say the balance of digits per appendage is somewhat off, and to those people I say,
Chaaaaaardic!
It has a thick fiery mane running up it’s back and piercing green eye(s)
I say eye(s) as the females have three and the males have singular eye, also known as an eye.
It has four sets of teeth set around its square cake hole, obviously it doesn’t eat cake, its just a figure of speech, also they are diabetic.
It has a 3ft long invisible tail. How do I know, well if you ever get hit by it you’ll know too.
It’s main prey is the caterpillar, probably not a great choice to be brutally honest, in fact I can definitely think of meatier choices, at least three and that’s just off the top of my cranium.
And I think that pretty much sums a Carpeted Flaxen Bi-gorn up, any questions?
Yes you there with the hand not raised, yes the one walking out and getting in his car and driving away and stopping off at Nando’s and ordering the half a chicken because he’s visited enough times to now get it free, but there telling him you have to buy something on this visit to qualify for the free half a chicken but who is now telling them that he wont want the half a chicken if he orders something else, and is now realising that’s how they get you and is now getting back in his car and instead going to subway and queuing behind a rather large man who is buying three foot long subs that he can only presume is for himself, and is now wondering what to order but does not like to make decisions and is now being asked
‘Yes sir what can I force upon you’
and he is struggling to even choose which bread to have because how can he know which one he wants if he has never tasted them before because I mean they all look nice but looks can be deceiving and he is now remembering that one girlfriend he had who looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but it did, it melted fast and she had a butter allergy, and he is now realising that the subway man is still waiting for his answer so he is panicking and running out the shop back into his car and returning to this hall, getting out his car and walking towards the building, but has stopped, he's forgotten to lock his car, and is thinking this is the kind of time he wished he had central locking where you press the button on the key fob, but he hasn’t and is walking back towards the car, and just got splashed by a fool driving past him and is shaking his fist at said fool, who has just stopped and reversed and wound down his window and they are now both exchanging words…
oh forget it, no further questions then your honour, wait where am I, what the hell just happened, I think I blacked out.
no I haven't gone insane(r) that’s the sound it makes, no matter what type of emotion it’s trying to convey it always makes the same noise.
Tis a four legged creature with three spindly digits on it’s front legs and six clubby digits on the hind ones, some would say the balance of digits per appendage is somewhat off, and to those people I say,
Chaaaaaardic!
It has a thick fiery mane running up it’s back and piercing green eye(s)
I say eye(s) as the females have three and the males have singular eye, also known as an eye.
It has four sets of teeth set around its square cake hole, obviously it doesn’t eat cake, its just a figure of speech, also they are diabetic.
It has a 3ft long invisible tail. How do I know, well if you ever get hit by it you’ll know too.
It’s main prey is the caterpillar, probably not a great choice to be brutally honest, in fact I can definitely think of meatier choices, at least three and that’s just off the top of my cranium.
And I think that pretty much sums a Carpeted Flaxen Bi-gorn up, any questions?
Yes you there with the hand not raised, yes the one walking out and getting in his car and driving away and stopping off at Nando’s and ordering the half a chicken because he’s visited enough times to now get it free, but there telling him you have to buy something on this visit to qualify for the free half a chicken but who is now telling them that he wont want the half a chicken if he orders something else, and is now realising that’s how they get you and is now getting back in his car and instead going to subway and queuing behind a rather large man who is buying three foot long subs that he can only presume is for himself, and is now wondering what to order but does not like to make decisions and is now being asked
‘Yes sir what can I force upon you’
and he is struggling to even choose which bread to have because how can he know which one he wants if he has never tasted them before because I mean they all look nice but looks can be deceiving and he is now remembering that one girlfriend he had who looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but it did, it melted fast and she had a butter allergy, and he is now realising that the subway man is still waiting for his answer so he is panicking and running out the shop back into his car and returning to this hall, getting out his car and walking towards the building, but has stopped, he's forgotten to lock his car, and is thinking this is the kind of time he wished he had central locking where you press the button on the key fob, but he hasn’t and is walking back towards the car, and just got splashed by a fool driving past him and is shaking his fist at said fool, who has just stopped and reversed and wound down his window and they are now both exchanging words…
oh forget it, no further questions then your honour, wait where am I, what the hell just happened, I think I blacked out.
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