Mon 15 August 2011. 11.44pm
Today is the day before the tomorrow; I thought I’d share that with you. A sound word of advice for any sailor to take on board. This is a manifest I guess, a manifesto of my mind, a conglomeration of my thoughts and the words that spew out of my think hole. Proof if it ever was needed that I am indeed in need of a straight jacket, or a lonely house on a hill, many miles away from civilisation. It may not make sense, well it better not make sense otherwise I have just mentally stranded myself on a lonely hillside for no real reason, which in itself would require me to be stranded on a lonely hillside, if you follow my catching drift.
Today is the day before the tomorrow; I thought I’d share that with you. A sound word of advice for any sailor to take on board. This is a manifest I guess, a manifesto of my mind, a conglomeration of my thoughts and the words that spew out of my think hole. Proof if it ever was needed that I am indeed in need of a straight jacket, or a lonely house on a hill, many miles away from civilisation. It may not make sense, well it better not make sense otherwise I have just mentally stranded myself on a lonely hillside for no real reason, which in itself would require me to be stranded on a lonely hillside, if you follow my catching drift.
I enjoy words, yet with the advent of narcotics (alcohol is a narcotic right?) my wordinisation has become weakened and, and, and well bad. I have become all but useless at communicating with others in any meaningful way, but yet the words and play of words still float around in my think box, so I thought if I tap away at these tappy keys then they may pour out of me like some sort of pouring device, a pourer!
So far I can see a pattern on nonsensical crapola forming on this page and I must say it does not sit well with me, it does not sit well with me at all. In approximately 100 years you, yes you, will read this and discover that the man you have come to never know as Richard Jon Baker was an utter geniusly insane crapola spewer! This too does not sit well with me.
I Want To Be Dr Who
Hash cakes, smelly, smelly hash cakes.
Do you think hash cakes are smelly?
No, why do you?
No, but I wasn’t the one who said smelly hash cakes, you were?
No I wasn’t!
Yes you were I heard you, in fact you even wrote it down so theres conclusive evidence right above us.
Hmmm well you make a good point sir, may I enquire of your name before I am sentenced to immediate and painful suicide?
Why yes you can sir, and before I tell you may I say it was been an honour having this conversation with you, I only wish we had more time together, I have a feeling we have so much in common.
I agree, if only, now if you could proceed with the name giving part of the conversation.
Why yes certainly, where are my manners, my name is Richard Jon Baker.
What?
What do you mean what?
Well that’s my name as well.
Impossible! How can that be?
I don’t know, something spooky is going on here.
Very spooky indeed sir. But if we are both called Richard Jon Baker, and we have so much of the same mind, then can it be that we are in fact two halves of the same mind?
It is entirely possible great sir.
Oh my god, but if we are the same person and you, as you so eloquently put it before, are on the verge of immediate and excruciating suicide…
I must correct you fine fellow of me, I used the words immediate and painful.
Oh begging your pardon, as you are on the cusp of immediate and PAINFUL suicide then that can only mean one thing, surely.
That you are also?
Exactly correct my mirror.
Oh dear!
Oh dear indeed!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Do you think hash cakes are smelly?
No, why do you?
No, but I wasn’t the one who said smelly hash cakes, you were?
No I wasn’t!
Yes you were I heard you, in fact you even wrote it down so theres conclusive evidence right above us.
Hmmm well you make a good point sir, may I enquire of your name before I am sentenced to immediate and painful suicide?
Why yes you can sir, and before I tell you may I say it was been an honour having this conversation with you, I only wish we had more time together, I have a feeling we have so much in common.
I agree, if only, now if you could proceed with the name giving part of the conversation.
Why yes certainly, where are my manners, my name is Richard Jon Baker.
What?
What do you mean what?
Well that’s my name as well.
Impossible! How can that be?
I don’t know, something spooky is going on here.
Very spooky indeed sir. But if we are both called Richard Jon Baker, and we have so much of the same mind, then can it be that we are in fact two halves of the same mind?
It is entirely possible great sir.
Oh my god, but if we are the same person and you, as you so eloquently put it before, are on the verge of immediate and excruciating suicide…
I must correct you fine fellow of me, I used the words immediate and painful.
Oh begging your pardon, as you are on the cusp of immediate and PAINFUL suicide then that can only mean one thing, surely.
That you are also?
Exactly correct my mirror.
Oh dear!
Oh dear indeed!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Tuesday 16 August. 4.05pm
So it’s one of those days where you know, things happen and stuff takes place and my mind wonders lonely as a cloud. Kids, I hate them, not all of them just the pig faced ones that have faces like pigs, I mean that’s just un-natural surely, so I'm well in my rights to hate them, aren’t I?! Yes is the answer. Here’s how the conversation would go if I was to tell there parents:
So it’s one of those days where you know, things happen and stuff takes place and my mind wonders lonely as a cloud. Kids, I hate them, not all of them just the pig faced ones that have faces like pigs, I mean that’s just un-natural surely, so I'm well in my rights to hate them, aren’t I?! Yes is the answer. Here’s how the conversation would go if I was to tell there parents:
Me: Your child is a menace to society and has a face like a pig, is he called pig face? Because he should be on account of the fact his face is the same as a pigs face
Them: Gargle bargen schpeil
Me: Well I can now finally see where he gets his infinite wisdom, all bow down to the pig family and there super minds
Them: Gork?
Me: Well I’ll leave you to wallow in your filth, ta ta
Mildly entertaining I presume.
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